My version of this article I found.
1. Parking within a mile of the door. Sweet.
2. I don’t want an outside basket. The ones inside are fresher.
3. I hate people who enter through the exit door. Fucking idiots.
4. This basket’s good. Shit, it’s stuck. Damn… It’s stuck! Oh, lift the seat thing. Awkward.
5. Fuck this cart! Dollar section!! Who brings a cart to the dollar section? Oh… That ho.
6. I don’t need any of this shit but it’s so cheap. I have to buy something. That’s a nifty shovel/flashlight combo.
7. Ok. I’m here for cat food and laundry detergent. Ooo candles!
8. That smells delicious. Now only if the color matched my dining room.
9. Ooo a square candle!
10. I need a bookshelf to put this on. And a chair to put next to the bookshelf. Maybe a book.
11. Pillows! My couch could use pillows. And a throw. I’ve never had one. Guess I don’t need it.
12. $28 for a pillow?! Lies.
13. Target’s so expensive. I wonder if they have food processors on sale.
14. Still not on sale. What about coffee cups?
15. It’s a reusable to-go cup! I need two.
16. I’m just gonna look at a few tees before I go.
17. That’s an awesome tank top. I wonder if H&M has it? Probably not. It’s only $8.84. It’s mine.
18. They have the coolest socks. And hats. I’ll just try on this hat.
19. I wonder where the iPhone cases are?
20. I could use more earbuds. And a new armband. I have those other two but… I like this one better.
21. Laundry detergent… That’s right! But look at all the Febreze!
22. What kind of laundry detergent do I use?
23. I love Method. The bottles are cool as shit. Three for $8?! I’ll take 5. Work it out at the register.
24. These trash bags smell like lavender?! Need.
25. Oh, they have a collar with rhinestones! My cat’s a beast though.
26. Does she like chicken or seafood? Both. Wet. And lots of it.
27. Is that the dollar section?!
28. These lines are so long!! I’ll wait it out at Starbucks.
29. Twenty four lanes and six are open. Awesome.
30. I need this jerky and Pepsi for the road.
31. What did I come here for? Did I grab those paper towels I needed? Do I need paper towels?
32. I should just fucking work here.
33. Where’d I park?