In exactly one month, I will be turning 27. Like, 30 minus 3, which means I’m basically 30. Which is pretty much 35 which is so close to 40, you may as well round up. What. The. Fuck.
As I approach mortality, I mean 30, I’ve began to get this numbing feeling that I’ve done absolutely shit with my life. There’s no satisfaction in just having a job and not living at home. It’s so much deeper, for some insignificant reason. Remember when you were asked “where do you see yourself in 10 years”? Yeah, I’m at that 10 year mark and, believe me, I’m light years away from where I thought I’d be. And in the wrong direction, let me tell it.
I really thought I’d be a lawyer with a family and a picket fence and shit. Life, though… Life has a sense of humor leaps and bounds above that of my own petty, humanoid shit. I’ve been allowed to live long enough to be able to lament about this shit so I guess I should be thankful, but still. I skipped over the family and picket fence part and went straight into bills, taxes, hating my job… You know, the rat race. Never really enjoyed relationships or friendships with geographically close people for very long. Now that I’m fast approaching 27, I want to try and recapture all these nuances before it’s too late and I’m too old and surly. How do you even meet people anymore once you leave college, though? Is the internet the only place I can meet like minded individuals?
I say all that to say this… I DONT WANNA GROW UP!!!