Kids. The catalyst of many conversations when you’re 27 years old and don’t have or want any. I tell you, those little shits can make anything uncomfortable well beyond being a figment of anyone’s imagination. Let’s slow down a little, I don’t have an aversion to kids, per se. I just like things a specific way. I also like things hectic and chaotic. I enjoy wine whenever I want to. When sleep comes, I let her ravish me as long as she’d like without interruption. I completely understand that people with children also enjoy these small luxuries. I also understand that children bring out a side of you that you never thought existed. A different kind of love you never thought you’d know. Fine and dandy. That’s just not my shot of whiskey. Generationally speaking, I’m not alone in this never-ending explanation of why kids aren’t my “thing”. It’s a topic that has awkwardly plagued many colleagues and peers of mine at family functions and outings with parent friends. It’s an issue that we’ve been, by proxy, unable to answer because our true answers are 1.) not good enough and/or 2.) rude to the one doing the questioning. For anyone with a normal self esteem, any one of these two effects to answering kid questions is daunting.
A lot of my reasoning for remaining kidless definitely stems from observing people with kids. Although most of them are very happy with their bundles of joy I can’t help but see how lax they become with their own hopes and dreams. How easy it is to just give up on you for the sake of the little ones. This is in no way me being judgemental. I just know, personally, that I have enough shit happening daily that keeps me from living in my dreams without kids. It seems really easy to let the little ones inadvertently take the blame for not being where you want to be in life. I can’t see myself giving up my selfish ways of spending all of my time on me and who/where I want to be in the near and distant future. One thing I’ve felt bad about saying until recently is that I feel sorry for people who had kids before their 21st birthday. At 27 I feel that those years were some of the most valuable years of my life. I made so many mistakes, learned so many lessons, and experienced the world in a different way than ever before. I’m thankful that those years, for me, weren’t lost to parenthood. Now, I’m thankful that I get to live as a young adult with a career learning, growing, making mistakes, and experiencing without having to worry about another mouth to feed (besides my animal).
To my peers, and the people younger than me, with children speak honestly with me. Do you feel you compromised some of the best years of your life for your little bundles of snot and sunshine? Do you wish you could redo it? This is a no judgement zone. Cross that line and I will come for that ass so please speak freely and without judgements. I’d love to hear opinions.